ASSUMED RELATIONSHIPS: KNOW YOUR STATUS

I met my good NYSC friend who shared this story with me and I think it is only fair if I share it here. Uzor have been an amazing person. She shares this experience with me. Read and enjoy.

 

“I received the shock of my life yesterday, when a friend of mine accused me of trying to break up with him. Break up ke? Are we even dating? 

Then it dawned on me that all those times he came around to hang out with me, drive me to work, Nysc clearance and back, see movies, play and gist, eat out, were because he assumed I was his geh-vren (Girlfriend).
So I’m in a relationship without knowing I’m in a relationship??? What a Waawu(wow)!
I actually felt for him, even in my transfixed state. See innocent me that was just catching fun and having the time of my life.
I related the story to a colleague and heard a more shocking one. She had become friends with a fine guy, and thought him her boyfriend. She would close from work and branch to the market, buy food stuffs and go to his house to cook. In the middle of the night, Onku will press small bress and they will make out. Then the next morning, she will go to work from there. This continued for three good years, and Onku didn’t propose. He was just chopping free food, and knacking free knack. So one day, she took a step of faith to ask him when he was coming to see her parents. Guess what???.
Onku said; “Parents ke? Boluwatife!! you’re just like a younger sister to me o. I never saw you in that light.
Actually. I’m engaged.”
She broke down in tears, but later she had to come to terms with the sting of reality. Onku didn’t “Toast” her.
They only met at the bank, and from there, their “frensheep” blossomed!

It was kinda funny sha, but I was pained as well. Younger sister ke? He didn’t even say “Just a friend”. Who on this planet makes out with his younger sister?
Helshadai!!

You see ehn, there’s nothing as dangerous and annoying as an UNDEFINED relationship. Its crazy! You even get to feel foolish in the end. Never ever you assume you’re dating a person. Find the hell out!

Some ladies sef, ordinary “Hello Baby” inside inbox Na wahala o. If the “dropper” is a crush, then eet ees finished! They will collect phone number, collect account number, state code, and house address. Before I finish quoting John 11:35, they have traveled to see crush. For their mind, the dream man has arrived.

Abia!!! It does not work that way.

And when crush now finish crushing them like Dangote’s Trailer, they will now epp us to coman be corrupting the image of feminism and shouting that all men are the same. Mtcheew!!
I’m not saying you can’t catch sparks online o. Noo! I’ve seen people who met their life partners via this platform. But ehn, use head na. At least be sure the feeling is mutual before anything. Not when you finish typing long letter of love profession, and Onku will now reply : “Kk”. Mbaanu! Ees nor laidat.

Bottom line: If you’re currently assuming you’re in a relationship, it is time to ask “How Far?”. Find out what exactly is going on between both of you, especially if it is running into years.
Stop Assuming! Ask! Some gehs think asking “How far” will make them look desperate and cheap.
Bia… Aunty, as far as I’m concerned you are already cheap. You cannot be frying stew and shining congo for years, with nothing tangible to show for it. Stop doing as if world people used your sense to exchange recharge card.
By the way, “How Far” Na question , no be proposal.
Ask him; ” Onku, are you THE ONE, or should we look for another”?
Stop letting people monopolize your air space for nothing. Stop letting them be a canopy over your life. Don’t let them “browse your website” when they don’t have intentions of “downloading”.
The Earlier you commot them for road, activate your common sense and move on, the better for all of us.”

 

After sharing this story with me, I understood the times we are in. I am first of all glad that a woman shared this with me. Relationships are not compulsory. Men, try not be faster than aunty. Aunty, try not to assume that you know what Uncle is thinking. Even if you are sure that he likes you enough to ask you out in the shortest time, allow him to still do before anything else. If he is not making the move, feel free to make it for him. It is better than assuming that something is going on when nothing is. Assumed relationships poses more heartbreak than you can imagine.

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